Friday, March 5, 2010

‘Mother-Daughter Duet: Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter’ by Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum – Book Review and Giveaway

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Mother-Daughter Duet’ is written by a mother/daughter team.  Cheri Fuller is the mother; she is a best-selling award-winning author whose books have sold a total of one million copies.  Cheri is also a speaker at women’s conferences and frequently guests on national radio and television programs.

Ali Plum, Cheri’s daughter, is a writer, songwriter, wife, and mother to Noah and Luke.  She’s recorded background vocals for popular musicians, and ‘Mother-Daughter Duet’ is her debut title.

Ali and Cheri, who have a blog with the same name as the book, explain their reason for writing this book:

Looking into the past to process what has happened in our relationship is the hardest thing either of us has ever done.  But we were willing to go there because we know what it’s like to come out of the struggle and conflict to relate as equals and adult friends and how enormously satisfying that is.  Because of our experience, we want to provide hope for discouraged moms who think their daughters are too far gone, or for the mom who simply doesn’t understand her daughter or just longs for a closer, more connected relationship. (p. 6)

I had a wonderful relationship with my mother as I reached adulthood; adolescence was another story!  She went home to be with the Lord on Christmas Eve, 2004.  I look forward to our reunion in heaven!

Being that my mother is no longer on this planet, and the only daughter I have is an English Cocker Spaniel, Shelby (!), I was not sure how much I would glean from this book.  However, I found it to be helpful for relationships apart from the mother/daughter relationship.  I am a women’s small group leader at church, and I appreciated the information on Generational Differences found in chapter 2, in particular. 

Chapter 13 is entitled ‘The Power of Forgiveness.’  One paragraph that dealt with leaving the past behind really resonated with me:

Up to that point, Mom couldn’t seem to let herself off the hook.  She even took responsibility for things that had really been my responsibility or failures.  I, in turn, mirrored her tendency toward shame and lack of forgiveness of self.  I most wanted her to acknowledge her own worth and to claim it with confidence instead of staying stuck in a mode of self-criticism or perfectionism.  (p. 196)

Another important subject that is discussed is fear:

…..we need to face the fact that our fear is not faith; it is not demonstrating faith in God.  We need to let go of our fear.   But sometimes this kind of letting go is the most excruciating thing a mother can do when she’s very concerned about her daughter…. (p. 114)

These ladies are not afraid to tackle difficult subjects either.  They write about addictions, struggling in a crisis, postpartum depression, etc…

This book includes discussion questions for each chapter, so this book could work for a small group study.  I think it would be neat if mothers and daughters came together to work through the questions, and learn more about each other!

Overall, although I came in reading 'Mother- Daughter Duet' thinking it may not necessarily be helpful in my personal situation, I was pleasantly surprised that that was not the case.  Human relationships are human relationships, so good advice in one case can be applied in other cases.  Cheri and Ali seem to have a wonderful relationship with each other, and I appreciate how they share what they have learned with others!

This book was provided to me by Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing Group for review and giveaway purposes.

I have two copies of this book that I would love to pass along to two of you! 

There are several ways to gain entry:

1) Leave a comment here on the blog, telling me about your relationship with your mother and/or daughter.  Please make sure to leave your email address in this format – sample[at]gmail[dot]com.

2) Follow me on Twitter; I will more than likely follow you back!  If you are already a Twitter follower, that counts, too!  Please leave an additional comment to that effect.

3) Follow me as a Google Friend on this blog; if you are already a Friend, that counts, too!  Please leave an additional comment to that effect.

4) Become my Facebook friend.  Please leave a comment to that effect.

5) Follow this blog as a NetWorked Blog Follower after you’ve become my Facebook friend.  Please leave a comment to that effect.

So there are five chances to enter!  Please limit one entry per option.

This give away is for U.S. residents only.  The deadline for entry is Friday, March 12, 2010 at 11:59 p.m. EST.  A winner will be chosen via the Random Number Generator on Saturday, March 13, 2010 and will be contacted via email.  The best to all of you!


Deb said...

What a great give away! I am very close to both my Mom and my Step-Daughter. I am blessed to have a unique-ish relationship with my 17 year old Step daughter. We really like eachother! I have been told that this is both odd and remarkable. I prefer to think of it as a blessing! Thanks for the chance.

Linda said...

I would love this book, as I didn't have a close relationship with my mom, and would like to see how it can be changed today. Please enter me. Thanks.
desertrose5173 at gmail dot com

Linda said...

I follow on Twitter.

desertrose5173 at gmail dot com

Linda said...

I follow through Google reader.

desertrose5173 at gmail dot com

Linda said...

Am friends with you on FB.

desertrose5173 at gmail dot com

Andrea Schultz said...

Hi Ladies -

Thanks for stopping by. I enjoy the comments!

Blessings -


Julia said...

My mom and I had some rough patches when I was a teenager, but since my dad passed on we have been especially close. I now consider my mom to be my best friend. My daughter is 4 and I hope that when she is an adult we will have a close friendship.

Shawna Williams said...

Sometimes I wonder where my 14 y/o daughter came from. She's so unlike me! She's a complete delight to be around --responsible, creative, sweet, fun. And she enjoys hanging out with dear-ole-mom! I was absolutely horrible to my mother when I was her age. Sorry mom, you deserved so much better.

Tonight we watched American Idol, and she snuggled up beside me. I just wanted to freeze the moment b/c maybe she'll be one of these kids that won't ever feel too big to snuggle with her mom, but she will grow up and move away some day. And while this is a wonderful thing, I sure will miss her.

Kim said...

WOW! I would love to read this book to help me have a better relationship with my daughter. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing in a book with so many other moms.

kim.brownen @

Nancye said...

My mom and I have a great relationship. We talk on the phone every day. She is there for me as I am for her. I love my mom SOOOO much! She is my best friend!

nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net

Nancye said...

I follow you on Twitter

nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net

Nancye said...

Follower on Google Friend Connect

nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net

Nancye said...

Facebook Friend

nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net

Nancye said...

I follow you on Networked Blogs

nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net

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